The interesting thing about feeling like you can’t reach your full potential is that it doesn’t really feel like you’re being held back while you’re in the moment. When I was working at the hellhole, I felt like I was completely fine. I enjoyed my time there to begin with and saw myself enjoying the ease of the job for quite some time. Little did I know that it was draining everything from me. I was already drained because of my job prior to it, so I didn’t realize how little of myself was still there. I thought that things were going well, but looking back now I see how wrong I was. I would get off of work and come home at 5:30pm feeling exhausted from a day full of people and trying to please a misogynistic fuck who thought he ruled everything and thought he was the only person whose shit didn’t stink. I was miserable and put on a happy face because I was supposed to be happy and thankful that I was saved from a life of midnights and hearing people kill each other. This place messed with my head so much more than the prior job ever did and looking back at that time, it’s like looking back at an entirely different person.

There were some warning signs I feel like I probably missed too. Like when I first interviewed the joke he made with Dan seemed very strange and Dan seemed a bit taken aback by it too. The next was the way he treated Lesley. I saw it happening and I didn’t realize what it was, but now I realize it’s control on his part and him taking advantage of how incredibly sweet she was, and how she wanted to make everyone happy. The last was the big one that I didn’t ignore and that was really what sat with me through the rest of my time there. When he told Kali to make it work and he stomped his feet like a petulant little child I was so stunned I couldn’t think straight. I had never seen him act that way and the way Kali just shook her head and moved on and did what he asked. It made no sense. Long story longer; seeing how I am now is a total eye-opener. I get off of work feeling creative and excited. I have the energy to go on runs and write articles, stories, and put myself into the work I love doing. Being surrounded by like-minded people is also awesome, there are so many amazing moments that happen at work daily and friendships being formed with people who care and have similar interests. When my wings were clipped, I had no idea what was happening, but now actually being able to flex my muscles and fly really puts the past into perspective.

Lexi woke with a start, screaming. Nurses ran to her bedside trying to hold her down. The skin on her flesh was burning and she tried with all of her might to tear the IVs out of her. Slowly, as the morphine hit her system she slowed, but she knew she would get out somehow. She had to save Elsie from the flames, she had to find her in the darkness

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